Five months ago, if you’d suggested that I could meet an entire community of amazing people online, I would have rolled my eyes. “You can’t really get to know people online, can you? I mean, it’s not real.” That would have been my honest response. Today, I know better. Blogging has provided me with the opportunity to “meet” people in Pakistan, Brussels, Mumbai, Glasgow, Montana, Toronto, and The Maldives without ever leaving my comfy couch. I’ve learned about your triumphs and heartaches, quirks and varying senses of humor through dose after dose of virtual interaction.
Of course, I’ve always wondered if these blogging crushes could translate into a real life kinship. Maybe it’s like online dating: you only show people your good side, use your best jokes, gloss over your strange tics. How many times have you heard about that seemingly sweet celebrity who’s a jerk in real life? Mightn’t blogging be the same? Would a flesh and blood meeting just result in blog-crush heartache?
Last week, I had an opportunity to find out. Cécile, the witty French blogger from Trying to Be Conscious, was visiting Vancouver with her fiancé, all the way from Zürich. She asked me a question, I sent her a list of my favorite Vancouver spots, and we arranged a coffee date for the following afternoon. And just like that, a (very) long distance online interaction became a face-to-face one. Our quick meeting ran over two hours, which turned into a series of emails, which turned into a double date on Friday night at one of my favorite Vancouver restaurants, which turned into drinks…
Et voilà! Our mutual blog love was confirmed. Cécile is just as charming and honest and beautiful as she appears on her blog. And now, blogging has gifted me a new, very interesting friend, all the way from Switzerland.
Hanging out with Cécile, the lovely French blogger from Trying to be Conscious.
On my first trip abroad, I was absolutely dumbstruck by the variety of amazing people I encountered: Aussies, Germans, South Africans, Italians, Kiwis, Brits. Many of these traveling companions became quick friends. Suddenly, I was keenly aware of the fact that the world was very big and very full of wonderful, unique individuals who didn’t sound a thing like me, whose experiences were vastly different and yet somehow akin to my own. That realization changed everything.
Now that travel and foreign men (hello, husband!) are my constant companions, I am experiencing another version of this awakening. In the beginning, I was scared of who might be lurking behind those keyboards reading my blog. Would you be nice? Overly critical? Would we have anything in common beyond our mutual love of ceramic pigs? It’s easy to forget that every comment, every Gravatar box is a real live human being, each with her own story. But if I needed a reminder of the remarkable gift the internet has given us to exchange ideas with people all over the globe, Cécile has provided it for me.
I’m the kind of person who needs to log off and disconnect sometimes, who has a love-hate relationship with my iPhone and who can get a bit backlogged with emails. But I’ve also, unexpectedly, become the kind of person who can’t wait to see what my fellow bloggers are up to. Because that’s what happens when you share stories about love and marriage and anxiety and awakening and Whole Foods addiction. With each new exchange, each shared revelation, slowly, very slowly, the blurry outline of a person comes into sharper focus. The pieces of your stories begin to connect into a larger whole and you’re no longer just that guy or that girl from that blog. You’re a friend.
Have you ever met a fellow blogger in real life? If so, what was the experience like for you? If not, would you ever consider reaching out to someone online for an in-person interaction?
The world wide web is simply an informative portrait of ourselves within this world. People are connected, and as much as we seem different, we are all alike. We spin our own webs one day at a time. It is the Internet, and social networks that provide this ability to understand the world and the people that reside in it a little better. Now blogging, helps people express their inner character, which is something most have a hard time doing in person. Good article. Nice writing.
I have yet to meet one of my blogging friends, although I do have a few that are local that I would love to meet one day! I think it’s so neat to make friends that way and am so stoked that you were able to make a real person friend as well as a blogger friend. It’s kind of how people you work with or go to school with you wouldn’t necessarily pick out as friends but because you are surrounded in that community, they end up becoming your friends. The same can apply to the blogger community! People from all walks of life with different interests all together online….so neat!
Ahh! I’m so jealous. I love Cecile (and you, obviously since I’m reading your post like 5 seconds after I got the e-mail notice that you made one)! Congrats to you both! :D
That’s sweet–thanks Amber! Maybe our paths will cross one day :)
I have a date with Waiting for the Karma truck when I am back east over the holidays and I can’t wait! And I am pretty sure I’ll meet Carr Party of Five and Magnolia Beginnings and Talk to Diana at some point. And hopefully you!!! i have been so incredibly inspired and surprised by the wonderful friends I havd met here. Great post!
Wow, Jennifer–you’ve got all kinds of blogging dates lined up. Look at you. Have fun!
I can’t believe what close friendships I have developed in a such a short time. Such an unexpected perk of the blog!! And probably my favorite part…
I can’t think of anything more delightful. Thanks for giving us all something to look forward to!
I hope our paths cross some day, Marsella. I’m sure we’d have a very interesting conversation!
Reblogged this on eighteenthousand and commented:
Bloggers aren’t just bloggers.
When I read Cécile’s post about meeting up with you I thought it sounded like the beginning of a wonderful friendship and I’m happy to know that it was mutual between the two of you. I’ve managed to form online blogging friendships with people around the world and most notably Stephanie from Simply Stephanie Blog (http://simplystephanieblog.com/author/simplystephanieblog/). Funny enough I used to live in her home city of Orlando. It’s amazing how you can meet people in such a vast and potentially faceless environment as the blogosphere and translate that into friendships that are based on mutual interests, and a sense of belonging. I hope to get to meet some of my blogger friends someday :) It’s truly is the new form of pen-pal.
Definitely a new form of pen-pal ;)
Great observation, L. Sort of like Julia Child and Avis–friends on paper, friends in real life :)
Laura, I hope you’ll consider attending BlogHer ’13 in Chicago. I’m trying to convince Steph to go too. Hopefully, we can all meet there or some other day. :)
Hey that would be really cool. I’ve never been to Chicago! Would you be able to send me some details?
I don’t know too many of the details (what I do know I’ve learned here: http://www.blogher.com/blogher-13-heading-back-midwest-chicago-here-we-come), but from what I have heard from some of the bloggers who attended was that it was a lot of fun, an awesome way to network and promote your blog, and a great way to meet people on a somewhat neutral ground. I’ve never been to Chicago either, but I think it would be a blast to see it with some of my favorite bloggers. ;)
Awesome, I’m going to look into it. I could save the money in a year :)
I too have developed friendships through blogging and would absolutely want to meet my new found friends in person. In fact,a blogger in Australia and I now call each other “sisters from another mister” :)
Paula
stylist & Stiletto maven
dettamodablog.com
About two years ago I started reaching out to connections on LinkedIn. We were connected electronically though I knew nothing about them.
Not everyone I ask is open to speaking by phone, Skype, or in person. When they do accept, it’s a wonderful experience.
Now we have a personal connection vs. an electronic one. The former is more fun.
It’s great that you initiate those sorts of interactions, Steve. I’m sure it’s hit-or-miss. But I’d also imagine you have some pretty worthwile conversations and learn a lot in the process.
Cool!! I’ve developed deeper connections with online buddies (from blogs/forums towards emails and discussions about life), but never got down to face-to-face meetings. Some day, I guess, this will happen. I’m sure there’s so much to learn from everyone in this space. If we can read and learn, we can definitely talk and learn.
Very true–if you’re drawn to someone’s ideas, you’ll probably hit it off in person. In day to day life, we’re limited by proximity, but when it comes to blogging, we can seek out kindred spirits from around the world. It’s pretty cool.
Thank you, Rian, for the advice to follow Cecile. Her blog is wonderful and she has a lot of the same beliefs that I do. As for your question: Yes! I would love to meet some of the wonderful people whom I blog with.
You, for one. Then there is Sam (http://aspergersgirls.wordpress.com/) who lives only a few hundred miles from my son, so I may get go meet her.
There are others. I hear what you are saying, but I don’t think I would compare it to online dating too much (have you read my blogs on this?!) lol. Seriously, I think it is a whole different group idea. People with blogs have something to say, while online dating has people trying to get something/someone. I am sure there are those on here who could give us a bad name; I just haven’t found them yet. I am following almost 40 blogs now and I would enjoy meeting any of them.
Scott
Hi Scott–I’m glad you enjoyed Cécile’s blog, she has some really great ideas. And she’s much funnier than I am! As strange as the comparison seems, I have to say that it felt a bit like a “date” because you want to live up to the other’s expectations. They have an idea of what you’re like and you hope that you can match/exceed it. Cécile and I actually talked a bit about that and were glad/ relieved when we hit it off so well.
On that note, I would LOVE to read some of your online dating posts. There must be some interesting material there. Please share!
Please let me know what you mean by online dating posts. If you mean the messages I send to someone I would like to go out with, they are nothing special. I am confused.
Scott
” I hear what you are saying, but I don’t think I would compare it to online dating too much (have you read my blogs on this?!)” I thought you were referring to some juicy blog posts about online dating ;)
Back well before the days of blogs, I met a wonderful group of women on a parenting bulletin board (some of you may remember these – they were social media for the 90s!). Here’s my blog post about them: http://glutenfreenz.wordpress.com/2011/10/07/the-changing-nature-of-friendship-in-the-internet-age-aka-are-cyber-friendships-real/ We all met up last year for the first time and it was as amazing as I could have hoped for. By a bluebird of serendipity, I am seeing three of them again in a couple of weeks, which is terribly exciting! So even though we all joked that one of us was a sweaty man in a trailer just pretending to be a parent, it turned out that we were all real people!
I’m so pleased you and Cecile had a lovely time and I will go and check out her blog right away.
Wow, what an inspiring post! You gals have been there for each other through thick and thin. I’d say what you have rivals most offline relationships. Very cool. Thanks for sharing :)
I think it’s amazing the connections we have at our fingertips, in blogging, in reaching out with our stories and ourselves. It’s a community and has enriched my life in ways I wouldn’t have thought possible. I learned a bit about blogging from each blog I read and follow (with yours at the top!) I discovered Truthandcake the same day I discovered the Freshly Pressed page, 3 months into blogging. You were the first blog I checked out as I came on here not knowing a bit about blogging, I was a social media virgin ;) It’s truly remarkable the growth and learning that can happen in a virtual reality, although what’s drawing many of us together is more real than many of the realities we take a break from while perusing the blogosphere.
Thanks for your support, Kristy–you’ve definitely been here from the beginning. I’m glad to hear that blogging has brought so many new friends and ideas into your life!
My (now) boyfriend and I met through my first blog. He came across it by chance, and said it inspired him to blog again! Commenting on one another’s blogs led to chatting, and we realised that there was something special between us we both wanted to explore – despite the fact that we were living in two different parts of the world, South Africa and New Zealand! It’s probably one of the craziest things either of us have done before, especially because neither of us had even considered ‘dating online’ in the first place. 9 months into our ‘online’ relationship, we both met for the first time in Cape Town, South Africa. Half a year later he travelled back to South Africa to meet my friends and family, and 2 years later, in March this year, I quit my job and moved to New Zealand to live with him. People are surprised to hear that before I got here we spent less than a month together in person, because we’re so comfortable and work so naturally together.
Blogging didn’t just give me an outlet to meet amazing people from all over the world through writing, it literally changed my life!
Congrats on meeting up with a blogpal, I look forward to doing the same with other blogpals I’ve made in the years to come.
What a brave, inspiring story, Ness! I think it’s awesome that you found a kindred spirit online and then took the leap. In a way, communicating our ideas allows us to get to know one another better than if we were more focused on the external. I’m so glad to hear that it worked out! How are you liking New Zealand? I’ve never been but I’d love to visit some day.
I’ve been living in Auckland and haven’t had a chance to see much else of the country (yet), but what I’ve seen in really beautiful. It feels really “open” here, and when it’s sunny the views are amazing of the harbour and the islands all around. You should definitely visit!
Totally on spot what you said about getting to know one another. That was a huge part of the draw for us, that it hadn’t been an immediate physical attraction – he fell in love with me through my writing and we fell in love through conversation!
Rian, thrilled to have “met you” from so far away! I actually did the whole process backwards I think. I’d been following blogs from a distance, but it wasn’t until an adorable friend and colleague of mine told me about her blog that I thought I could ever have one myself. Caterina from http://www.notjustaprettydress.com/ (the most stylish Italian lady you will ever meet in Brussels) inspired me to write my own through some conversations we had face-to-face. I kind of love that it happened that way. On a completely separate note, I am dying to visit Vancouver and my parents recently moved to Washington State… I might just let you know if I am ever in town!
It’s funny how differently we approached blogs before we had our own. I read some but didn’t remotely grasp the importance of communication and connection through comments. It was only after I started my own that I “got” it. Most of my friends who blog have echoed the same sentinment. Let me know if you’re ever in the area, Jess. I would love to grab some coffee or go shopping! :)
Such a heart warming post! I love both of your blogs. (:
Great post. I began writing online about the same time you did and I had the same fears. I was also surprised at all of the warm people I met, that I never would had, if I hadn’t thrown my thoughts and words out into the internet on one cold and boring day last winter.
I have no plans to meet any bloggers face-to-face. But your experience is encouraging, because I have had comments from a creepy person or two which makes one cautious. But on the whole the bloggers I have “met” online have been interesting and supportive. It is a remarkable community. Thanks for the great blog!
I definitely think meet-ups should be approached with caution (in public, with a friend or partner if it makes you feel more comfortable, and never with anyone who gives you a weird vibe). I suppose it’s a way of taking an already established online friendship into the real world–certainly doesn’t mean you have to open the door to anyone and everyone. I’m glad to hear that you’ve met some interesting supportive people through blogging. Thanks for commenting!
What a wonderful post and story. Nurturing and kind friendships are wonderful whether in line, my phone or in person. There are many ‘beautifully kind’ people in the world.
Oops, typing error there .. on line … or many in-line at the coffee shop? HA HA!
Yesterday was the eleven-year anniversary of my online journal. I haven’t met any bloggers from WordPress (I’m still pretty new here!) but I’ve met quite a few people from LiveJournal. Canadians, Americans, even a Russian girl who was in Hong Kong then London and now Denmark!
It’s amazing how much you get to know and like people when you can truly pick and choose all kinds of interesting things to talk about.
Eleven years, wow–you’ve been at this for a while :) Sounds like you’ve met a very cool, diverse group of thinkers online. And you’re right–it is a pretty great way to get to know people–sort of like a never-ending virtual chat over coffee.
It truly is! I mean, with “real life” people, you kind of get stuck in a very day-to-day type of conversation…weather, work, blah blah blah. But here on line, people tend to have time to formulate thoughts and lead discussions into some less explored topics!
That is so freaking cool that you and Cecile got to meet over coffee!! I wish I could have been there! Which leads me to my next confession…I want to hang out with many of my online friends. Some I would like to have a dinner party with (so they could cook for me), some would make great travel companions, and I’m sure a few would become best friends for life. I have met more kindred sports through blogging than I have (collectively) in my entire life, and that has been really rewarding. Travelling, blogging, writing, connecting, are all productive steps toward awakening. Thanks, Rian…and I hope to meet you in person one day!! XO, Tobi
Ah, me too—that would have been fun! I would love to travel or cook with you one day, Tobi. And maybe play with your super cute dog? :) It’s amazing to hear that you’ve met so many kindred spirits in such a short period of time–sounds like it’s a theme. I hope our paths cross one day! xx
Playing with Loca is a must! In fact, it should probably be on everyone’s bucket list. ;)
YES!!!! I had been in contact with a gal from Calgary through my blog + since being in Alberta, we’ve hung out every week! We liken ourselves to modern day pen pals….sort of! The blogging community has been a pretty amazing tool for connecting people together!
That’s so cool, Nanook. I bet it was nice to already have a friend when you arrived in Alberta. Must make the transition that much easier!
I’ve had hugely good luck with online friendships. I was part of an online support group for years who became very close… they are my sisters and we would do anything for one another. The weekend five of us got together at my house was just magical… even our families remember it that way.
I find that creeps aren’t normally attracted to real discussion or ideas, so if that’s your forum, you aren’t likely to run into them. Of course, take reasonable precautions, but in general, people you relate to online are going to be just as interesting in person.
How cool that you were all able to get together at the same time–sounds like so much fun. You’re right, Sue–if you get along online, you’ll probably get along offline. I love the idea of having a blogging friend in every “port.”
Great story, seems like most of us, bloguers, have more in comon that we thought at first.
I found great people, great advices, and beautiful coments around.
And is great that your husband share that with you too! ;)
have a nice week!!
I’m glad to hear that your experience has also been so positive, Carla. Enjoy your week!
SAme 2 you!! thanks for the answer back!
I love my blogger community, it makes me happy to know they are there. It is amazing to be in contact with so many different people from around the world. Meetup plans have not worked out yet, but I would love to meet my fellow bloggers.
I hope you get a chance to meet up some day! I’m sure it’s just a matter of time, and it gives you a great excuse to travel ;)
I have not met a fellow blogger in person but I feel that they are my real friends and it excites me to realize that people are the same all over the world. Most are good and kind and full of creative ideas willing to share them like you. I so appreciate you and all of the other new friends that I have made here!
I also appreciate your support and friendship, June. Hopefully our paths will cross one day!
When Cécile told me she had met you, I was thrilled for her (and not so secretly jealous) that two wonderful bloggers got to come together. How awesome is that? Blogging is such an incredible way to meet people you would have never had the chance to come face-to-face with. I’m glad you two had the opportunity to develop your blogging friendship to a real life friendship.
Like Laura, I have also bonded with Stephanie over at http://www.simplystephanieblog.com and we are in talks to attend next year’s BlogHer conference in Chicago. I know the Windy City is a place near and dear to your heart, Rian, and I hope you will consider attending as well. I’d love to meet you! :)
Hi Jessica! I would love the chance to hang out with you. I’ve heard that BlogHer is in Chicago next year–I’ll definitely think about attending. Keep me updated on your plans :)
Ahhhhh how cool is this?! Cécile seems fabulous online, so it’s wonderful the same can be said for the in person lovely lady. I’m still kicking myself I didn’t get into the city to meet up with you when you were here last, but I know our time will come.
I was in the same boat as you, not realizing what a fantastic community of ‘real’ people was out there, but I’ve made SO many wonderful friends and met/Skyped/phone chatted with many. I’ve not had a single negative experience yet.
Well, Jules, I have to say that you’ve inspired me. You were so friendly and involved from the start–you were one of the first bloggers who showed me how great the blogging community can be. Thank you! And yes, our time will come. I’m already dreaming about my next trip to NYC: the food, the streets, the guilty pleasures…I’ll definitely be back!
Rian- how awesome! I love that you met with one of your blogging friends; I don’t ‘know’ Cécile, but i just might have to stop by her blog now. I think it’s remarkable how we find connections here. I was thinking not long ago, what it would be like to meet some of the ones I’ve connected with, and it got me thinking along the lines of what you wrote, ” if these blogging crushes could translate into a real life kinship. Maybe it’s like online dating: you only show people your good side, use your best jokes, gloss over your strange tics” and it couldn’t have been said any better! Since I couldn’t arrange to actually do that, I’ve been doing a virtual blogging road trip, making 6 ‘stops’ to get to know a few of my blogging friends a little bit more; it’s been even more fun that I thought it would be and it was my intent to honor the connections made here. So, bravo on a great post that rings true for so many of us! :)
A virtual blogging road trip–that sounds really cool, Bonnie! What do your “stops” entail? I do hope you get a chance to meet some of your new friends in person one day–it’s pretty neat when it comes full circle. All of this online support and communication is amazing. And I hope you drop by and check out Cécile’s blog–she’s so witty and smart. Take care! xx
Hi Rian – it would be so great to meet some of the bloggers I have connected with, I am sure at some point when travels take me to the right spots! In the meantime, the virtual road trip has been a fun approach, and my small way to honor these great connections. Here is the post I did to set it up and if you want to see how I did each one, all the ones I have done so far are linked up:
http://paperkeeper.wordpress.com/2012/07/31/road-trip/
I will definitely visit Cecile’s blog – witty and smart = fun!
All the best, Bonnie
xo
Hi Rian – just a note that I am sharing some blog love with you and your blog. I truly enjoy your perspective on things and always come away with new insights. Just wanted you to know that :) http://paperkeeper.wordpress.com/2012/08/29/keep-your-face-always-toward-the-sunshine/
Thank you for this lovely post Rian. We can definitely see through the comments that your blog has created many friendships and connections- something you can be proud of (aside from the great writing, photos and choice of topics ;-)) There is so much more I’d like to add here but I’ll keep it for my own post about our meeting- it was so cool it diserved at least 2 posts :-)
I can’t wait to read your post, Cécile! :) And I hope you’re having a wonderful time touring around the island. It’s raining here today–hopefully you’ve escaped it over there. Talk to you soon! xx
Not a blogger…yet. I would absolutely love to meet all of WordPress it seems (a few in particular especially). But, I did actually happen to randomly meet someone online, get to know him, flew up to meet him without ever having seen him other than via Skype, and boom I have a boyfriend. Internet is a crazy lovely thing when it wants to be.
How cool, Becca! I’m amazed by how much the internet opens things up–instead of choosing from a pool of people in close proximity, we can choose from people all over the world based on interests and connection. It’s a whole new dating world. I’m happy to hear it worked out so well for you :) Take care!
This is absolutely wonderful! I’ve always dreamed of meeting other bloggers, but I never have…I think it’d make a brilliant experience though. :) I see yours did.
Hi, Rian. I have nominated you for the Versatile Blogger Award. :) Go to my home page and check it out. You have a wonderful blog!
I did meet a blogging friend, a woman who is 24 years younger and lives in Scotland. We hit it off immediately in person and learned we had much more in common than we’d thought. She has (!) invited us to her wedding next June in Scotland (we’re in NY) and my husband, who shoots weddings, might become her wedding photographer. So that’s a serious amount of connection. Not sure if we’ll make it but we’re seriously considering it.
There are two women now following my blog, one a fellow Canadian in NYC, that I would love to meet. They’re my age and just sound like a lot of fun.
I think the nature of blogging, if you’re honest and authentic, reveals character much more quickly than a dozen coffee or drinks dates. By the time you meet someone whose work you’ve been reading for a while, I think you have a pretty good idea if you’d enjoy them face to face.
If I ever get back out to YVR (which I will likely do), I hope we’ll meet up!
It amazes me how much blogging can expand your world (if you let it). I hope you’re able to take that trip to Scotland–I’ve never been but I’ve heard from many people that it is breathtakingly gorgeous. Cécile is moving to New Zealand next year and we’re hoping to pay her a visit. I can’t wait to roll down a hill in one of those giant balls ;) You’re right–following someone’s blog is a bit like long distance dating. You pretty much know what you’re going to get by the time you meet face to face. But, as Cécile and I both admitted, that doesn’t stop you from applying a bit of makeup beforehand! If you’re ever in town, let me know. I’d love to have coffee.