I’ve been in Los Angeles For the past few days, visiting the paternal half of my family. Because I live in Canada, I get my family time in sips and gulps. It’s wonderful to spend time with the people I love, talking over eggs, assessing new haircuts, giving and receiving bear hugs, laughing.
As we cruise around town, grabbing pastries and buying old vinyl, it strikes me that when we go “home,” we are visiting a place as much as we are the people.
And L.A. Is a place I’ve been visiting my entire life. Some things change—new stores dot Melrose, my brother just started his second year of University—but other things, comfortingly, remain the same.

Here are a few of the things that greet me every time I touch down in the City of Angels:
*The unseasonable heat. It’s October but you wouldn’t know it in Los Angeles. It was 109 degrees in the valley yesterday. We’ve been hiding out in the shade, swimming in the pool and eating frozen yogurt to stave off the unflagging heat.
*My dad’s uncanny ability to spot celebrities, both new and old, as they flash by on the street or have coffee with a friend. I turn my head and squint to make out the resemblance. Before I can piece it together, they are usually gone, swallowed by a sea of casually dressed people.
*The traffic, so much traffic. This weekend was Carmageddon II. They completely shut down ten miles of the 405 to add yet another lane for more….traffic. As my dad aptly noted, it will soon be swallowed by the void, cars overrunning and consuming that precious space.
*The short stature of the city. Houses and buildings are low, usually one story, built to sprawl out onto the surrounding land, once so plentiful, now tightly packed with people, cars and real estate.
*The pretty palm trees. They’re everywhere, craning their tall necks toward the sun.
*A diner on every corner, a used clothing store on every corner, one more of everything on every corner. It’s remarkable that there are so many versions of everything here. But natives know which of the 1,200 bagel shops does it just right and which cup of coffee is the best.
*The juxtaposition of lush green trees and dry brown hills, a reminder that we are in a desert, living off of borrowed water.
*“The Biz”—everywhere you go, you overhear someone talking about a TV show they write for or a movie their friend is in. Hollywood really is omnipresent here.
*The feeling that everything has slowed down by ten beats. The sun hits my face, my breathing slows, I’m definitely on that oft touted “west coast time.”
Is there a place you return to frequently? Somewhere you’ve watched change and yet, in many ways, remains just the same?

Tagged: Familiarity, Family, Los Angeles, travel

I have many places. :)
I remember catching up with a friend after I returned to Edinburgh (where I was at university) after a little more than a year in Philly. He remarked “Well, the place must have changed a bit since you got back.” “…Um, no…not really.”
I tried to explain that individual shops, the faces and fashion in the streets DO change, but the spirit of the place remains much the same (we may have a coffee shop instead of a pharmacy, but the street is still a ‘studenty and cheap’ one).
The things I love about Edinburgh – Arthur’s Seat, the Old Town buildings, watching the world go by from a cafe window – is the stuff that remains exactly the same. The rest is just small print…
I would LOVE to visit Edinburgh one day. Arthur’s Seat, Old Town Buildings–check and check, they’re going on my list. I’m glad to hear it’s remained the Edinburgh you know and love.
A Los Angeleno (well, after 18 years here I think I deserve the moniker) remarks: I am with your dad on the 405. At least it employed thousands of people during a difficult time but it will be gobbled up by the ungodly amount of cars that drive up and down it every day.
Palm trees are not indigenous – I forget who thought it was a good idea to import them out West. Funny they have become an iconic symbol of the city.
What has changed: a fab metro system I am embarrased to say I just “discovered”. Half an hour from the West side and you are downtown, no traffic, sipping martinis on the 24th floor of the Ritz Carlton, watching cars go by and feeling as if you were in a different city….
I have heard of this fantastic new metro but have yet to ride it. I think it’s wonderful that L.A. is expanding its public transport–it’s just so darn BIG, it will be hard to expand it out enough to really eliminate cars. 24th floor of the Ritz–I’ve made a mental note, thanks ;)
Welcome back to Cali, Rian! Yes, it has been incredibly warm here these past few days. Looks like we won’t be seeing the fall until the winter. I’m like your dad… constantly spotting even the lesser known celebrities. My mother is always pointing at someone and asking, “Who’s that?” and there will be Michael Madsen shopping at Target, Nikki Sixx or Heather Locklear strolling through the mall, or David Caruso grabbing frozen yogurt. Even when they blend in with the rest of us, they still stand out.
Happy star-gazing, sun-worshipping, vinyl-shopping, and family-bonding and be sure to come back soon!
I am so bad at celebrity spotting–also animal watching and magic eye posters. I never see the rhino in the distance. Ah, well. That’s what my dad’s for! :) How cool that you have the “eye.” Hope to catch you next time I’m in town!
I would have been able to answer yes to a number of places, but recently the scope of change has been more than I expected. Vancouver is a good example, there was so much that I could no longer recognize. Maybe it’s just been too long, the economy too drastic. I don’ t know.
“craning their tall necks toward the sun” such a fantastic line.
I don’t know the old Vancouver, but you’re right. Even the last few years have brought such tremendous change–the landscape of the city is constantly changing and growing. And the economic gap is so very wide. Most native Vancouverites can’t afford to buy–it’s crazy. If you ever come back for a visit, I’d love to hear about “your” Vancouver.
Hi Rian..welcome to CA..and yes, we are getting quite the heat wave! I wish it were cooler while you are visiting. We go up to the sierras/Tahoe every summer and we marvel at the subtle changes in the landscape based on the amount of snow that was or was not dumped the winter before. It’s a place I never get tired of..but the only stars there are the twinkly ones. :) Enjoy your time here!
That sounds so nice, Bonnie. My mom was re-married in Tahoe (it was also the very first place I saw snow as a child, being a California baby and all). I haven’t been back in a very long time but I remember that it was beautiful. You’ve inspired me to go back some time to check out those twinkly stars :)
It would have to be the Bay Area for me. San Jose, San Francisco, Santa Cruz. Home… but not?
How lovely, Marsella. I lived in the Bay Area as a child and have rediscovered it as an adult. I adore San Francisco. Nice to hear you have a home away from home!
Disneyland!
Ahh, Disneyland–I haven’t been back there in a long time. It was one of my favorite things to do as a child. But it has definitely changed. I remember one of my fave rides was the underwater submarine where you could see mermaids–I think now it’s Finding Nemo? The popular characters change, but the spirit remains the same :)
L.A., more than any other city I’ve been to, also has this feeling – this incredible vibe – that anything is possible and that anything can happen. It just oozes with promise (even though it has a dark side like any other big city). I totally get the allure.
I feel that way about NYC :) Cool to hear your perspective!
There’s no place like home. :-) Baltimore is that way for me! Steamed crabs, nattty boh and berger cookies are caalling my name right now!!!
Nice! Having lived in VA for so many years, you’d think I’d have visited Baltimore more often, but I think it was only once– for a school field trip. I will have to remedy that! What are berger cookies? I’m intrigued :)
Oh my gosh – Somehow I missed this comment – sorry about that. Berger cookies are a Baltimore classic – they are kind of like shortbreak with a ton of chocolate on top. My grandma and my aunt wrapped up berger cookies in saran wrap and put a bow on them as the party favors at my wedding. You can get in them in the airport if you fly into BWI…or you can get them in any Baltimore grocery store. They are SO yummy!! And taste just like home. :-)
Yes! Michigan! My family lives in various towns in the Southwest corner of the mitten and I often travel back and forth between New Buffalo, Mi and Ann Arbor, Mi and am always amazed to see things have changed, things that haven’t… but most of all I notice all the ways I have changed …
All the ways that you have changed…yes, what a great sentiment. Revisiting a place definitely shows you how much (and in what ways) you’ve grown.
I definitely don’t miss the traffic of Southern California. I remember being stuck in traffic at 12am! I hope you had a great visit. :)
Midnight, wow. The traffic can really be brutal. Did you live in L.A.? I had a wonderful time, thanks :)
Not in LA. I lived near Riverside growing up. :)
That’s where my brother is going to school. We took a tour of his campus while I was there and it was HOT and really pretty :)
Thanks for the trip “home.” My favorite place to return to is Duluth, Minnesota. Such a beautiful place — but also increasingly overrun by tourists. Sad.
First off – I LOVE this line: “I get my family time in sips and gulps.”
And the traffic, oh, the traffic! That’s what I remember most about my 2 days in L.A. a while back!
I’m fortunate that my immediate family has all stayed local. In my hometown (where I grew up and where my parents still live), now there’s a sushi shop and other trendy things, but it still feels like the place where I got 50-cent Slush Puppies at the corner store!
Holy crap. I’m old.
I would love to visit LA, it seems like such a novelty. I’m secretly fascinated with the lives of the stars! Embarrassing, right?! Oh well. I think it would be fun to just take it all in and do a silly tour where they drive you past famous people’s homes and such. At the same time though, it’s just another hot, crowded, dirty city, where everyone is trying to find their way.
In my life, when I go home, I go to a “town” with a population of about 75 people, mostly ranchers and farmers. Each time I go back it seems smaller and smaller. My dad fills me in on who has died, who’s near death, who has left, and who is the star on the sports teams. We usually go to one of two cafes in town and have at least two meals. Not too much changes there, but the land never changes, which I love. I like to take a 4-wheeler or a horse and take off, exploring my dad’s land like I did growing up–everything looks the same as it did 20 years ago.
I wrote a lot! I must stop!
xo, Tobi
I also love the “sips and gulps” image- it describes the sensation of only seeing your family once in a while perfectly. A sensation I know very well myself. I often wish I could be closer to all my family but the good side of it is that when we see each other it’s only love and great times :-).
For me, that special place is Nice. It’s been changing for te best the past years but the vibe remains the same: sunny, tasty and touristy. Glad you got some extra time in the sun, summer is definitely over here in Switzerland…
Toronto is where I grew up to the age of 30, and left for NYC. I was just back there last week for the second time this year, and even lectured at my old high school.
I love Toronto’s parks, ravines, churches, hippie vibe if you still know where to find it. It has changed in many ways, in others not at all (which is comforting to me.) One big shock (whcih we were warned about in an alumni event a few months ago here in NYC) is that the dining hall where I ate my boarcding school meals in Grades 4,5,6, 8 and 9 is now torn down. It was very odd to drive past the empty site and recall so much of my life in there.
I’ve only been to Toronto once, but I thought it was a great city. People (Canadians) not from Toronto are so quick to talk it down, but I found the mix of city and burbs to be lovely. We walked around High Park in the fall and it was gorgeous. We also went to a Prince concert there, which makes my memory of the place that much sweeter ;) Thanks for sharing your “place” here.
Not really, anymore. When I return to most places, they have changed over the years and have moved on past me for the most part. Not a bad thing, just a different thing.
Perhaps, it is me that is really changing…
Scott
How right you are, Scott–most of those changes just amplify the changes we’ve made in ourselves.
I’m from Westchester outside the NYC area. I do notice differences when I drive by the old “hood.” I grew up in a poor section. Relatively everything has remained the same. The biggest change was the build up of the river front with condos and shops.
Thanks for this post!!! Just this morning I was thinking about how much I missed driving through the canyons to the beach. The smell of sage, the sun, the chapparral. I really am missing Los Angeles a lot.